yeah. i miss them.
they were my best friends all through elementary and middle school.
probably the years where you most develop.
whilst going through my room I find pictures. How everything used to be. How it was and could be. Maybe. Pictures of me and Holly and Carly, Carly marrying her imaginary husband, me and Holly the bridesmaids, my brother--the priest. We baked an Easy Bake Oven cake for the 'reception'.
Liz and I. Our moms at work together. The pig mobile--it consisted of a laundry basket and roller skates. we go through the long hall way of her house and crash into pillows. It was a secret. No one could know but me, Liz and Lindsey.
Mary gave me Piggy. Piggy was recently chewed up by Jammer. It was a sad sad day. When we first got Jammer, Liz wanted us to name her 'Kibbles N Bits'. It was too long. But we almost did.
I put paint on Lindsay Regali's piano recital dress.
Mary had the best sleepovers in her basement. I went home when I was five b/c the rocking chair reminded me of the man who sits in the chair on the Log Flume thing with the chainsaw at King's Dominion.
Holly and Carly's mom came in with green facial cream to kiss Holly good-night. Even after she washed the cream off, I was still convinced she was a zombie.
Carly made me try a cigarette in the 5th grade. I went home and cried to my mother.
And look where we are now.
Carly is a mother.
Holly is this beautifully mature woman. She pays for everything she owns and works herself to death. Something I respect so much.
Liz is Miss Popularity. It's about time that someone who is the most popular girl in school have some substance and personality.
Mary is Cheerleader extraordinaire. We have one of the best cheering squads in the state and Mary is at the Center of it all.
And Lindsay Regali? Valedictorian.
We all change. Greatly. Our experiences and personalities mold us into the person we are ever-becoming.
And me?
Well...I'm the bitter, condescending and sarcastic theatre- and -chorus -geek.
Things could be the same.
I could still be best friends with Carly. But then again, I could also be heavily into drugs and maybe have a child of my own if I chose that path.
I could still be best friends with Holly. Maybe I'd have some work ethic. But my dependence on people doesnt allow me to break away like that.
I could still be best friends with Elizabeth. Our personalities match perfectly, yet my bitterness and sarcasm weighs me down. I'm not kind enough. I don't have enough energy.
I could still be best friends with Mary. But I'm not one for school spirit. I decided I hated Atlee long ago. I decided I wanted out as soon as I stepped in. The only thing that keeps me from pulling out my hair and glueing it to the wall is chorus and theatre which are slowly becoming less and less to me.
I could be friends with all these people. But my experiences and personality molded me into the person who is typing this. Some people take their hardships and transform them into happiness. Some people take their troubles and dwell on them completely.
I took everything that ever happened to me, implanted the lessons I learned, and threw the painful memories out the door.
Yes. I am bitter. I am sarcastic. I am condescending. And I grow to hate the human race more and more every day.
This is who I am. I could be different. I choose simply not to be.
After all, I'm being genuine.
But I still miss how things used to be, even though I am happy now.
Oh, nostalgia. Why must you haunt me so? | 
